was reportcard day yest. sis take the reportcard. she was late! actually not late la. owing to the not-so-responsible tcher. everyone go fast. just 11plus then im the last 4th. result was sux. my purata 41plus. when can i get back my 50plus!? damn.
watched The Dark Knight wif audrey after that. it was nice. but got scared twice. all bcoz of the sound effect laa. swt. and.. batman wasnt handsome! LOL. im having flu. then the cinema was so so so cold. im already wif my sweater laa. hmm. then hav lil shop. spend lot of money. gonna bankrupt lu. sigh.

then today. im damn tired. slept during bc period. =_="
hav to redo my moral project. coz tcher changed the format. ish.
this saturday im not goin to school!! im really lazy! xD

The world is cruel.

面具

**“有时，人要带着面具才能在这个社会生存。”我无法相信这句话竟是从一名初中一的学生口中说出来的！
**难道在学校也要带着面具吗？这复杂的社会已经惨不忍睹了，原本以为只有像校园这样的地方才是纯真的地方，没想到在这个纯真的天地里也要带着面具生活。

**好累，好累，我真的觉得好累！我已经没有力气去揭开谁或谁的面具去看个清楚，也没有力气去辨别谁有或没有戴面具。我只有坐在一旁观赏一个个四川川剧里“变脸”的把戏，看他们揭开一个又一个的面具，揭开了满面笑容的面具后，露出阴险恶毒的面孔...... 永远都揭不完，永远都无法看清楚面具下的真实面孔。

**忽然间，我觉得好恐怖！不知曾经有多少人是带着面具来对待我，来面对他所认识的每一个人的？不知谁是真的，谁是假的，还是...... 全部是假的？每天都要带着面具来掩饰自己，不能表达出自己内心真正的情感。难道他们不累吗？

**如果连这原本纯洁的学校里都要带着面具，还有哪里是没有面具的？我真想到一个透明的世界去，那里没有人戴面具，毫无保留，真实的表露出自己内心的情感，不虚伪，不造作。但，这个地方似乎是找遍了天涯海角到找不到的。

**有点失望，有点沮丧，手足无措，甚至有点绝望。我不知道自己是否应该和大家一样带着面具生活，带着面具掩饰自己，还是执著地追求着，以真实的自己来面对我身边的每一个人，以真实的面孔与他人沟通。

**在面具与真实之间存在了许多问号，谁能告诉我真正的答案呢？

这篇文章也许对某些人来说很眼熟，但我觉得他写的都对。

这世界就是如此残酷与现实。

在不知不觉中，可能已被别人捅了一刀，也可能被你身边的人欺骗、背叛。

你永远不会知道明天会发生什么事；这就是生活的体验。

*知人知面不知心*

BOOM!!

today was LM interview day. running for posts. i reached school around 7.15am. got no.15. and wait for dunno how many hours. 7+pm im in for interview. ok well.. im in just 9min! yea. believe ur eyes. 9min! 30 and over ppl went today. everyone use abt 20min-1hour to end their interview. and me.. wth huh? why so fast!? hopeless?

i guess yea laa. im hopeless. committees ask me simple question. question that i hav think abt it b4. and i think a good ans for it. but when im in.. i didnt ans well. my ans was simply and simple. i hav no idea why laa. then when i havent finish ans.. 2nd question shoot in. why why why so fast? why cant i finish my ans ne?? ishx.

diff feeling. happy, nervous...

*~ un-feeling well day ~*

the days after exam.

3papers back.

the result was so omg sux.

even my arts.

the subject that almost everyone say im PRO de.

i only get 49marks!!

wtf laa.

im sure dying d.

haihx.

*

为什么

我已努力，尽力地在我的课业方面下功夫

但

为什么

为什么有些人就是可以随便的做他们的考卷

然后得到好成绩

而我

绞尽脑汁地做

却得到如此烂的成绩

是我太失败吗

还是老天爷已放弃了我

（泪）

*

will update again after i get more paper. x(

killer...!

exam killed me. the f__king hard exam killed me! im really gonna crazy. ishx.
ok well.. i didnt do the essay part of econ paper. maths killed me everytime. add maths only did 2 question.. blank 14 question and other only half and some only wif answer. X.x and the very important subject. ACCOUNT. im gonna drop class if i failed it! coz of the datin dun teach the P6s. so v.. the P4s gonna drop any minit if v failed! Ooh dead. i tot i can do well in this term exam. but u noe what?! i hav not enuf time to finish my account paper! lejar didnt finish, imbangan duga didnt touch at all, penyata pendapatan and kunci kira-kira done.. but the amount was wrong. its 5digit and i wrote 6digit after i ask everyone the answer after exam. F__K! amount wrong equal to all wrong. 22marks for that question people! damn it. and and and my objective! i just done 9 question out of 30 question and i hav no time to do the other.
God. help me pls. i wish not to fail my account. x(

ok stop. dun think so much kan? dun think dun think. hmm...
monday my last paper. and after that.. im gonna face everything. result > report card > drop? stay? > LM interview? hmm.. thinking to go or not to go. then thats all i guess. x)

to mister piggy,
no emo and dun think too much. =]

speechless.

quietly endure everything. why a ppl treat u differently as u treat him/her? not fair kan? or i treat ppl too good? giv out too much.. worry abt him/her feeling too much.. pamper them too much? fine then.. no more next time. i dun like the feel.. the feel being betray. no one care how i feel. ishx. stupid me. such a useless ppl. just be the ordinary me. dun care other stupid things. thats all. really speechless abt this. disappointed. why? tell me why?? arghh...

*

`next topic`

*

why parents always like to say [ur friends bla bla bla.. bla bla bla..]? the way i changed is all bcoz u guys.. not my friends. if u dun und then stop saying my friends. its all enuf. feel like runaway form hse.. but i hav no way to go. i hav no much friends.. thats why i like to be wif my friends. i like to be in my quiet world.. bcoz once i talk.. u guys sure nag me back. so what for i talk? and if ask me question.. dun scold me back. u wan to ask.. u hav no qualification to scold me.

*

moody day. leave me alone. x(

我回来了！xD

520 - Aquarius babiiee's 1st year anniversary <3

522 - mun ling's sweet sixteen.

im back im back. exam week.. so not online-ing. miss me?? xD i noe someone did. bluekx.
ishx. im gonna die. gonna fail all subject..!! all die in essay part. science.. i dunno how to do.. blank lots. bm.. dunno apa tu soalan.. dunno how to do.. simply write. econ.. ishx. sure die de.. subjective 60%.. i think i'll get less then 5%. believe me.. i blank blank blank. did my studies.. but still dun understand.. regret d laa. why i dun listen in class!?! arghhhh... one word for my exam.. die. after hols exam still on. wtf rite? hols pun tak boleh enjoy. x(

goin leadership camp for 3days2nights. 26-28May. training training lu. but committees sure train us till half dead. penolong ketua of group blue sumore. committees sure very jin gak de. ishx. so... dun miss me yea. dun sms me.. call me.. whatever laa. coz no phone is allow. watches pun not allow. very swt de. will blog after i back yea. not free recently. doin my group name tags and flag. rushing~
see u guys on 29th! miss u!

this few days.

-[ 6.5.08 ]-
after skul.. stay back for banner thingy. but then.. while waiting other members.. kell saw a newspaper on the table.. then we read lu.. suddenly she saw a pic got cake de. then...
kellye: yer.. feel like eating cakes le..
me: O.o lets go.. secret recipe.. old town! xD
kellye: really? =]
me: duh.. xD
immediately call "ee".. ask him wanna go anot. then he say ok. then then.. me, kell, "ee" and "rabbit" go together lu.. xD while waiting bus.. ishx. too slow.. so we decided to sit taxi. swt. me and kell say taxi.. "ee" say cab.. same de laa. LOL. apa hal o? then then taxi here.. after i close the door...
taxi driver: moi.. jgn tutup pintu dgn bla bla bla.. (dunno what he say.. but "ee" say he ask me dun close the door so energetically.)
me: .................... =_=''
taxi driver: tu pintu akan rosak. tak penah duduk kereta?!!
me: .................... (hellooo.. its ur car not mine. i close the door like that all the time.. whats the prob??)
nth to say laa sure.. very bu shuang lu. then reached old town.. i close the door more energetically. xD who cares. *evil laugh* then secret recipe time.. i order the yummy chocolate banana and chocolate milkshake. xD dunno why.. i love chocolate!! xP

-[ 7.5.08 ]-
got duty early in the morning again.. very very sleepy laa. forget to msg someone. then mummy fetch lu.. very sorry to her ne.. coz she not feeling well. ishx. duty ask usual lu.. hall.. today got edu fair. then too many ppl duty laa.. so feel like nth to do only. useless...! =]
after skul stay back again lu.. start to colour our banner. but unfortunately.. fail. we throw it after we feel that its so sux. so hurt laa. i draw de wei.. hav to draw again.. and we hav no time d!! next friday tchers day!! ishx. 1big and 3small.. non of it is done! grr...

kinda busy.

sorry ne.. dun hav the time lately. busy about LM thingy and hworks. ishx. rushing hworks this few days. heard hav to pass up sivik project tmr.. but u noe what? i dun even touch it! =X someone rescue me ne. sob.

friday hav to stay back till very late at night to prepare the next day's inter-game. woo. cant wait ne. expectation. x) hope everything ok, appropriate. *peace* everyone come come come support ne. interesting de o. and we really hardly get the day and time. =S

*

ciao. continue my hworks. =D

LM ♥

bad mood monday.

bad mood.. coz tired and two omg tcher.

*

ytd night.. laptop stupid down. post blog till half dead.. coz it keep error error and bla bla bla. so i slept on 2am. ishx. so damn tired after all. slept in class during science period. f__cking hot.. bt luckily got my caring dear bak bak. xD she fan we wif her exercise book when im sleeping. aww.. so sweet kan? <3

*

i cant stand tht black black and fat fat tcher laa. he keep saying those sex thingy. wtf. what squeeze apa private part. then what when he's in his old skul.. apa squeeze this and that. omg! he's so f__cking dirty laa. sux ass. who the hell let him be a tcher? he can be a tcher? *vomit* he's sux!!

2nd tcher tht make me in a bad mood.. LUM. she sux too. wrote my blue card(our skul's discipline card). the 1st time in this year le. i wanna leave it clean laa.. bt.. all bcoz of her! i hate her! gonna retired still so..... *cough*. fine laa. damn her.

the last couple of days.

gosh. just wanna post then all gone. wtf. i hav to write again!! ishx.

having flu. 3 days d. damn sleepy and tired laa. always got flu. tired-ness.

tmr hav to wake up early in the morning to skul for LM gathering. dun feel like playing those games laa. but no choice laa. im in inter-games de. nvm lu. support them ma. so they will support us. xD
today went LM meeting lor. taklimat hari guru. gonna do a project for tcher's day in abt 1month. committees said its a big project.. so we must try our best to do it. mid term exam rite after tcher's day ne. exam project exam project. alamak.. still got pjk, sivik, moral and seni folio/project laa. ttc's add maths exercise havent done yet.. hav to pass up on next tue. omg. many things laa. damn stress de.
hmm.. the project for tcher's day im in drawing banner de group lor. ketua is kexin. p.ketua is jared. i like i like. xD our group only got 10members ne. enuf? not enuf? then jared is the only guy. LOL. but ne.. not really like some of the members laa. we go where then they go where. pls laa. stop following us lor. ishx. then at 1st xinyuan is in our group de. after that they came.. he terpaksa go another group. sad laa. will be very fun if we all together de lor. haihx. forget abt it. peace. =S

yea / nah ?

feel that my blog is so damn k yeng... izit?

anyone can help me up....?

x(

sadness & happiness <3

刚刚跟他聊MSN.. 聊了很多。 然后他说他的心碎了... 不知不觉我也感到很心痛.. 眼泪差一点就留下了。唉! 不知道他现在还好吗..? 不敢msg他.. 突然不会说话... 不知要和他说什么好。无言了。明天会好一些吧..? <3

-------------------------------------------------------------------

today's red hse sukan tara.. i didnt go noh. coz no frens there d. and i didnt go for activities abt hell year. x) very paiseh laa. coz sumone called me go.. but i didnt. then he got QM sumore changed his shirt go for rumah. then ne.. got ppl say him leng zai ne. xD happy?
hmm.. fat and black tcher shout.. yell.. to us again. everyday scold ppl. dun he noe his sound very loud? ishx. ytd he let us check the marks. then i told him my account marks recorded wrongly. then today check again.. apa pun tak tukar. then i ask him why didnt change it. he asked me dun blame him.. its not his fault. u're my form tcher ne. i dun blame u i blame me..? wtf laa. tears nearly drop down in class today. currently get 19 in class.

yesh! tmr goin for a date wif kell. =D

-------------------------------------------------------------------

- 2.4.08 -
努力得到的不是我要的...
我还可以做什么呢?
世界就是如此的不公平...
一切不好的全都丢给我...
我不要 不喜欢 好吗?

-------------------------------------------------------------------

- 1.4.08 -
got my eng's result. quite sux laa. at 1st i tot 2 paper add together.. then omg i get an A. but after that.. well.. i only get 57%. coz mine was diff case. KT added all together d. then when maths... LUM scolded me for nth. wtf..? she called me to read some ques.. then say: no! i said this.. (point the book that i couldn't see what she was pointing). then i heard someone said read bla bla.. then i read. then she yell to me: louder! eh.. hello.. sudah max la. u want u read laa. dumb. then yell yell yell. thats all for my april fool day. x(

SunnyDay

banyak hot ne today. mr/mrs/miss wind.. are u ok? why didnt on duty? miss u so much. hope u're on tmr. x)

♥

im goin LM camp! yesh! waste so many saliva. finally daddy let me go. weehee. im being excited ne. xD feel like goin the eagle ranch trip also lu. but i think its a prob. its expensive laa. haihx.

today went LM meeting after skul. bought the photo of year. then take the last year's photo. swt ne. now only got it. some of the members kena scolded by committee during meeting. coz didnt pass up the signature drive thingy. phew. luckily i did pass up. although only got 2. x)

today's last two period is maths. stupid maths tcher. chehh. damn hate to see her la. during her class. me and kell specially go to the far-est toilet. then walk till damn slow. xD on the way back saw vinc-yuee gor again lu. then he say wanna find me to collect hse photo's money.. but he's so slow lu. im waiting he call me out from the class coz i dun wanna face her. grr. finally he came. but too bad my tcher is the red hse tcher. she talk talk see see then i no chance to go out d. hmmm. sien de. i just wanna go out to take a deep breath maa. x(

♥ 有人还会记得我吗？

umm.. 我是说假如。
假如一天我死了... 有人还会记得我吧...?

我的世界已改变了...
它.. 再也不是那个充满彩色的世界了...
下一个晴天到底在哪呢..?
我已厌倦了这样的生活...
很讨厌... 很讨厌...

this few days damn down. moody. be tired of somethings..? ishx. dunno. monday damn.. coz the black black and fat fat tcher. suddenly want us to do homework. abt STAR. everyday must do. then heard the way he talk. waa. damn bu shuang d. wth! i just hate him!!
haihx. got 8 subjects. failed 5. gosh. wtf im doin. why my result so f__king sux!? i did study hard and try my best d ne. why laa!? if my purata lower than 40 i'll really feel like dying d. ishx. i can stand it! sob. full of stress.. pressure. arghhh.....!!!

mr. x

haihx. things happened. just say a lil part here. others just keep it as a secret laa.
i really wanna noe how "X" think me. dun ask me who is "X". no matter who u are. i will not telling u guys anything. sorry laa. hmm.. mayb i will tell some some some of u. =] then im really curious what "X" thinking lu. wtf "X" wan huh?! memang confused me. hello.. saw me just say hi tak boleh huh? fake fake dunno me. i didnt do anything wrong maa. ishx. everytime wanna say hi to u de.. bt.. u noe ur look de laa. like dunno me like that. act cool there. not yeng at all pls. nobody dare to say hi if a ppl show u that face kan? not my wrong lu. really dunno what "X" wan. grr.. dun wanna be fren then just tell me straight away pls. then f*** off from my life. i treat u as my fren.. bt i think u dun think so rite? its ok. i dun really need a fren like u. thts all.

need to go to bed d. =] will be blogging again this friday.

hols end. few hours more.

the one week skul hols gonna end after a few hours. ishx. doesnt really enjoy it. just went for redbox to celebrate xinyi's 4years-once bday on monday. then im everyday at home since tuesday. wtf rite?? hp sudah expired for dunno how many days. im like stupid staying at home like nobody else business. wanna go for a party and hav some alcohol drink. bt audrey is the only my drinks kaki. coz my frens are just so 'guai'. then im in transport prob. grr.. apa pun tak boleh! bro ytd went clubbing also didnt tell me. eehan invited me bt i tot bro not goin. sumore he went out wif yq... say apa pergi KL take some photos for project wor. then he went!! wtf wtf. ok! end this stupid topic. damn angry wif that.

hey ppl! im gonna seldom online and will not updating my blog so often d. coz.. skul gonna start tmr! and and and im gonna face my stupid sux result. ishx. well.. and some..... tchers. *cough* tmr hav tuition from 2.30-5.30pm ne. haihx. mayb i will sleep at maths class again. *evil laugh* sorry laa weilin. xD slept for 30min plus during last last week class. damn paiseh laa. bt luckily didnt kena scold. shh...

ok lu. thts all for today. rmb leaves some comments and tag me yaa. thx for ppl who pass by. =] pass by also tag me laa. dun be shy. xD

BFF ♥

i'm finally online! xD

and finally im here to blog. *evil laugh* gosh! i think im being hyper. shhh...
laptop down for few days. kinda bored at home. i cant live without it! =X

then then then... i wanna say: i love u, kell! she helps me up my blog. everything everything and everything. i really love her so much. (ehem.. im not les btw.) xD

kell and i.

ps. don't blame me if my eng too broke. =]